As believers, we are taught that God loves us. While we tend to have this core belief deep inside our hearts, we all seem to have one giant challenge staring us in the eye.
How do I love me?
I know without a shadow of a doubt that Father God loves me. I was raised a Christian with these principles, and I have a deep understanding of Daddy’s heart toward me. I know things happen, fall apart, and I get discouraged, but that underlining truth always hits me. God Loves Me.
Negative Self Talk is a Punch in the Gut
So, why do we struggle with self-hatred, pain, beating ourselves up, blaming ourselves, or throwing darts at our own heart? If we know God “loves” us, why can’t we seem to feel it? Are we just not working hard enough to grasp it? As this thought progressed, I began to think one thing: I was created with love, to love, for love, and to be love.
Take a Look in the Mirror
If I am rejecting any part of myself and wounding myself, how can I feel love in that area or show it for that matter? Will I ever fully understand how to love another if I can’t turn that love and affection on myself?
Why do all of us face the “I’m not good enough” feeling? Is it because God doesn’t love us? Or we don’t know the price He paid? No. I believe no, no, no.
I know God’s love. I understand it. But, the one thing I’ve struggled with for years and years is loving myself. I can accept Father’s loving embrace and bury my face in his warm chest. (I’m visual, so I do stuff like this when I pray) But, when it comes to loving and forgiving myself I feel this big wall.
Every issue that pops up lately with me, I’ve started to realize something. I am not loving that part of myself. I’ve said for years to myself, “You’re too emotional.” The other day on the phone with my boyfriend I said, “I’m just afraid I’ll be too much for you. That my emotions you won’t be able to handle.” He proceeded to tell me again and again, “Love yourself. You’re putting yourself down.”
It struck me between the eyes
Dang it. I don’t.
Every cutting remark toward myself is diminishing my confidence and self-love and acceptance, and when I do that, I think others don’t love me in that area to. I search, search, search for someone to fill that love inside of me. But, somehow it always ends up short. Why?
The Mystery behind it all
If you don’t love yourself, in an area, you’ll never allow anyone else to either. Wow. Colors and lights. This was a revelation to me lately. I’ve been reading several books, and it feels the more I read them, the more I get this slowly trickling into my head. I need to love me. If I don’t, I will vomit my lack of self-love onto others and expect them to “fill” it, but the problem is, I won’t allow them to because my subconscious will reject it outright. Or, my subconscious will bring my beliefs to me again and again through the law of attraction.
Don’t believe me?
Take a look at your life. What has happened again and again? Have you blamed others for your lack of love, your hurts, pains etc? Has everything and everyone made you feel like a victim? Have compassion on yourself. Love yourself. Give yourself space to grow. You need you. I’m telling you right now. You need yourself. I know that sounds weird, and I think most Christians are cringing at my words, because dang it, we were taught not to love ourselves. You need to only, only, only believe that God loves you. I’ll quote Christ in this one: Mark 12:31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
So, if we are to love our neighbor as ourselves what does that look like? Do you blame yourself? Criticize yourself? What does your self-love look like? Be honest. So, if you can’t love you, how do you expect yourself to be able to love other people? It won’t happen. You will constantly try to pull out of them the love you need for yourself. You’ll blame, shame, cry, and get angry at others.
I confess I’ve done it a lot.
When you’ve been through a divorce, you have a lot of crap. Baggage hits you in the face, and you have to sort through a million, jillion emotions. You really don’t like yourself very much. In doing this, you have to learn to recover your self-love, because it takes a beating like no other. I catch myself constantly falling into self-criticism, and I have to stop it and take a look at what I’m thinking and saying. I dare you to start paying attention to your thoughts about yourself. Would you say that over anyone else???
We are so hard on ourselves. I used to think the empty feeling, when I was a teen, was because I didn’t know God enough. Which of course created this crazy, crazy thirst that never left me satisfied. I think God all along wanted me to understand, “Accept, love, and be who I’ve created you to be.”
He wants us to love ourselves. Wouldn’t you want your kid to? Your kid may even know that you love them, accept them, and are proud of them, but if they cut themselves down, it doesn’t add up to anything. They have to learn to love themselves, or all your words go in one ear and out the other.
Bottom line is, God loves you, but do you?