For a while now, I have been having this burning feeling inside of me. It’s a mixture of emotions I couldn’t quite explain. As I sat at my desk tonight, I pulled from two separate angel card decks. In both decks I got a similar card: laughter. I sat back for a moment and watched some YouTube videos that made me laugh.
I felt this urge to look up Kyle Cease. I’d stumbled upon him through Facebook a while back, and instantly his stuff made me cry and laugh–sometimes together!
As I watched this amazing transformation happen with this lady, I started to cry myself. I had no idea why I was crying, until suddenly it came out of my mouth in a desperate way, “God I want to help people!” Right now instant tears are springing to my eyes, because it’s this aching desire that I feel.
I see hurting people every day, and my heart aches and hurts with them. I want to fix it. I want to fix all of it. I know I can’t fix every wound, every problem, and help everyone out there. I get overwhelmed by the immense sorrow and struggle everyone seems to face.
Why does it seem so many are unhappy?
As an empath, my heart is to heal everyone. I keep telling myself, “You can’t fix them. They have to choose to fix themselves.” And in reality, we’re not broken. We just keep getting attached to the mess.
Our true essence is beautiful.
My words feel like a struggle–I know they are meant to roar in the atmosphere and shatter depression and change lives around me. I know it deep in the pit of who I am. As an author I push my books out there, but don’t seem to see much impact.
Then my heart breaks and aches, because I want my stuff to help heal the broken, wounded, and lost souls around me.
Then I watch Kyle, and I realize–I need to be okay with it all. I need to be okay with my pain and struggle of wanting to be heard. I need to say, “I want to help people and feel limited, and I love that.” He talks a lot about loving where we’re at, and embracing the moment. When we love even our “mess” we make space for the answer to push through.
When we push against something, all we see is what we’re pushing against. We block opportunities. When I hear about sorrow my inner being shouts, “Help them!” I know deep within me, my voice is going to shake the nations. But, I feel weak. Insecure. Not sure if anyone cares.
I know I can’t be Kyle Cease. I have to be me.
I know that I have a message of love–connection–and empowering people. I know buried in me is the voice of a warrior princess–who is brave, true to herself, and proclaims healing to all.
In my new book (still to be released)–all my guts hang out. It’s been a work in progress, because each chapter I write, I find this new side of me peeking from the shadows saying, “Let me out!”
This world is not going to hell. This world is full of light. We are light and love. We are an essence of Source and the Universe, and God Himself. We are stardust and light. We are souls of great power and beauty.
Overcoming my own negative voice is the first step to showing you your voice of power too.
I feel stuck at the bottom. Not sure how to get to the top of the mountain to be heard. I don’t know how to share the message of healing, love, and light to everyone.
It reminds me of the show I’m watching: Merlin. Here Merlin is the greatest sorcerer of all time, and he doesn’t even know it. He can’t even openly show his power for fear of what will happen.
We all hold this endless power inside of us–we are literally the Universe itself in a manifested physical form–and we think that’s weak?
We hold it all inside of us. Every particle is packed full of energy that can shape worlds.
The ache is there–but expressing myself every day makes the ache a little less. Maybe this will help you today. Maybe it was just for me.
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