So, I’m doing my thing today, when I heard, “Write a blog post.” I of course come back with, “About what, guys?” Needless to say, I have no idea what this post is about.
I’ve been reading a book called I Hope I Screw This Up by Kyle Cease. It has caused all kinds of life-changing revelations in there. One of which is–love every fear. Anytime something arises that we are punishing, in resistance to, or ignoring, we hold that in place. If we love the fear, “come here, fear, I love you no matter what” it suddenly stops all the nonsense the fear is trying to create.
It’s been interesting lately. I have these two sides (like all of us do) where I feel super empowered (like superman!) and it feels everything is going good, then the other side gets all whiny.
I’m a law of attraction girl, but it seems my mind wants to control it all. It wants to MAKE stuff happen, and I know that’s not the way it works, yet the mind still wants to do it. It’s quite annoying. I’ve been listening to Abraham Hicks for quite a while now, and thankfully when my minds get all whacko I start with a stream of better-feeling thoughts.
I get jealous. I get whiny. I feel like it’s all super hard.
That part of me I still resist. I want to be positive, do my dream, help people with my heart-felt books, products etc… I know what I have to say is valuable, but then of course the other part of me says, this is a waste of time. No one cares.
Ugh. Why do we have to fight that shit? I even wrote a book called Your Voice Your Choice, and it literally addresses those thoughts. I go through this type of thinking, maybe you can relate. There are so many people doing what I want to do. There isn’t enough customers, and why would they pick me?
Maybe the angels just wanted me to write this shitty thinking to get it out in the open. I love writing, and it’s like something in me thinks I can’t have what I love. Dang, that’s the problem right there.
I keep feeling overwhelmed lately, and when I feel it, I just want to go to sleep. I don’t know what’s the deal. I will go strong for a while, then want to hide under the covers from the world. I see people who constantly struggle, and it gets to me too. I know there is enough out there for all of us, I know it with my inner being, but its the other side that fights it all.
Maybe this post is just for me, guys. Maybe I needed to express my frustration with myself about being overwhelmed, annoyed that nothing seems to be easily working, and that my dream seems so challenging to continue. I wish money was just non-existent. I know focusing on lack of sales, customers, followers etc…only brings more of the same thoughts and experiences. The thing is–how do you move beyond that?
Does anyone actually have the answers out there?
I feel I’ve been searching for the answers forever. Maybe it’s because I AM THE ANSWER. Heard that before? Yeah, me too. I know we have this huge, inner being, and this huge inner wisdom. We can tap into all of it, but we are still human too. We have to work with the ego part of us that’s always freaking the f** out about it all.
Anyways, if you can relate with this–hang in there! We are all on this path of uncovering a deeper side of ourselves. I get overwhelmed with the amount of info, and I just want something to truly stick inside of me and make more sense.
Maybe together we can figure this shit out.