The Angels say, “Write a blog post.”

So, I’m doing my thing today, when I heard, “Write a blog post.” I of course come back with, “About what, guys?” Needless to say, I have no idea what this post is about.

I’ve been reading a book called I Hope I Screw This Up by Kyle Cease. It has caused all kinds of life-changing revelations in there. One of which is–love every fear. Anytime something arises that we are punishing, in resistance to, or ignoring, we hold that in place. If we love the fear, “come here, fear, I love you no matter what” it suddenly stops all the nonsense the fear is trying to create.

It’s been interesting lately. I have these two sides (like all of us do) where I feel super empowered (like superman!) and it feels everything is going good, then the other side gets all whiny.

I’m a law of attraction girl, but it seems my mind wants to control it all. It wants to MAKE stuff happen, and I know that’s not the way it works, yet the mind still wants to do it. It’s quite annoying. I’ve been listening to Abraham Hicks for quite a while now, and thankfully when my minds get all whacko I start with a stream of better-feeling thoughts.

I get jealous. I get whiny. I feel like it’s all super hard.

That part of  me I still resist. I want to be positive, do my dream, help people with my heart-felt books, products etc… I know what I have to say is valuable, but then of course the other part of me says, this is a waste of time. No one cares. 

Ugh. Why do we have to fight that shit? I even wrote a book called Your Voice Your Choice, and it literally addresses those thoughts. I go through this type of thinking, maybe you can relate. There are so many people doing what I want to do. There isn’t enough customers, and why would they pick me? 

Maybe the angels just wanted me to write this shitty thinking to get it out in the open. I love writing, and it’s like something in me thinks I can’t have what I love. Dang, that’s the problem right there. 

I keep feeling overwhelmed lately, and when I feel it, I just want to go to sleep. I don’t know what’s the deal. I will go strong for a while, then want to hide under the covers from the world. I see people who constantly struggle, and it gets to me too. I know there is enough out there for all of us, I know it with my inner being, but its the other side that fights it all.

Maybe this post is just for me, guys. Maybe I needed to express my frustration with myself about being overwhelmed, annoyed that nothing seems to be easily working, and that my dream seems so challenging to continue. I wish money was just non-existent. I know focusing on lack of sales, customers, followers etc…only brings more of the same thoughts and experiences. The thing is–how do you move beyond that?

Does anyone actually have the answers out there?

I feel I’ve been searching for the answers forever. Maybe it’s because I AM THE ANSWER. Heard that before? Yeah, me too. I know we have this huge, inner being, and this huge inner wisdom. We can tap into all of it, but we are still human too. We have to work with the ego part of us that’s always freaking the f** out about it all.

Anyways, if you can relate with this–hang in there! We are all on this path of uncovering a deeper side of ourselves. I get overwhelmed with the amount of info, and I just want something to truly stick inside of me and make more sense.

Maybe together we can figure this shit out.

 

 

 

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You are Needed

This World Needs Your Voice

Ripped piece of paper on grunge paper background. Love letter
I received this message this morning from a Facebook Friend, “Your voice matters.. never be afraid to use it.. someone will need to hear your perspective.”
 
At first I thought, “Awe, that was nice.” Then it sparked something.
 
Someone will need to hear your perspective.
 
That got me thinking about all the authors, teachers, and Youtubers, who’ve helped me heal, awaken, and overcome some huge obstacles. What if they hadn’t used their voice?What if they’d listened to the doubts, fears, and blah-blah you can’t do it voice inside of their heads? They all started somewhere.
 
I would have never got the help I needed. I would have never seen the perspective I needed at that time in my life.
 
Everyone has a unique perspective. It doesn’t matter who you are–you will not look at the world the same as everyone else.
 
You can either let that make you feel alone or completely alive. My world is unique to me. I’m creating it by energy and intention. It’s exciting to create something beautiful each day in my life. Relationships, creativity, beautiful thoughts, and more. All of it is my creation–and those who need my perspective will be drawn to it.
 
My number one goal with my new book is: Give people back their power.
 
I want to help awaken others to who they are, and breathe life into their visions and dreams.
 
Your perspective IS needed.
People will be drawn to your service.
Be the beautiful you that you are–and be it with joy.
Your world is unique to you–create with joy.
#perspective #perception #emotions #youareneeded #shinebeautiful #loveothers #loveyourself

Why do I resent my partner? #divorcerecovery #resentmentinrelationships

You want something really bad. I mean BAD, BAD. So bad in fact, that it’s painful. Your partner or spouse seems to be withholding that thing from you–now what?

This was me.

I married at a very young age (22) and I had tons of high hopes for the future. I pictured myself having 4-5 kids around me, laughing, romance, and all the fairy-tale stuff.

Family hands on team

To make a super long story short, my ex-husband withheld my greatest desire from me.

TO BE A MOM.

From the age of probably 12, I pictured myself being a mom. In fact, that was the only thing I desired.

As years ticked by, and I asked more and more, I realized that this desire wasn’t going to be fulfilled. In fact, I started loathing this desire. The longer it went, the more painful it felt. Until, one day I remember feeling my desire is bad. 

What causes resentment in a relationship?

Have you ever wanted something so bad that it suddenly felt bad to want it?

After 10 years of marriage, I suddenly realized that the relationship I was in was not what I wanted. I used to try to make it squeeze into a box, but if I looked at it square in the face–it was never my truest desire.

I started to resent him for withholding my greatest desire.

If you feel like a desire you have is bad, I want to tell you that it’s not. I’m not condoning divorce, when a spouse withholds something from you, but value yourself. I didn’t value my desire enough to do something about it–I let myself be controlled and pushed aside. I lost valuable years because of it.

The resentment I felt toward him destroyed our relationship.

Have a voice.

personal power.jpg

Say to yourself, what I desire is good. What I desire is normal. 

People used to tell me, “What you wanted was normal!”

But, for some reason I still felt bad about my desire, because it caused so much pain and resentment in my relationship. I’ve come to realize now, that it wasn’t me, it was him. Most men on the planet want their wife to have children and be happy. Not to condemn my ex, but his own issues got in the way, and it created a huge gap between us.

Ripped piece of paper on grunge paper background. Love letter

I want to encourage you today that your desires are GOOD. 

If your partner is withholding something from you, first of all, communicate how you feel. Many times resentment builds because we aren’t expressing our feelings in the right way. Start of with, “I feel (emotion) when you withhold this from me.”

Your desires are good.

Remember that.

 

 

 

 

 

The Breaking Point(When Pain Errupts) #mind #emotions #selfhelp

Everyone hits it.

The breaking point. It doesn’t matter who you are or how “mature” you are, you’ll come to a place where you hit the breaking point.

We all have insecurities, fears, sorrow, and disappointments we face in our lives. Everyone deals with these things in a few ways.

  1. Stuffs it
  2. Builds it
  3. Denies it

That’s a few I’ve noticed people do over the years.

My own breaking point hit last summer. I was a “build it/deny it” type of person. Where for years and years my marriage was a mess, and I tried to juggle the pain of it by denying that it was “okay” and also trying to believe that it would all work out in the end. I had this endless so called “faith” that kept me going. But, looking back I see that it wasn’t faith, it was mostly denial. My mental state snowballed over the course of five years until I literally hit the breaking point.

What is the breaking point?

When you’re done, you’re DONE. You have nothing left to give emotionally to the situation, and no one can talk you out of your point of view, no matter what they say. These breaking points start with a simple thing. A LIE.

People around you can love the socks out of you, but if you have allowed a lie to slowly build over the years, and haven’t dealt with your childhood issues, your pain from relationships, and have stuffed, denied, or allowed them to build they will BLOW. And it won’t be pretty, guys. When this breaking point hits, you hurt a lot of people. I know I did. I regret a ton of stuff when I hit that point, and I literally (when I think of it now) was crazy. When I think about my state of mind, at that stage, I was a different person. I don’t even recognize her at all.

The shrapnel of your “breaking point” will be worse than dealing with it before it hits that point. Trust me. I know. I really, really know. You will live with the guilt of people you hurt, things you did, and the things you didn’t do too. If you are feeling the build up of pain, fear, and lies inside of you I have one piece of advice: DEAL WITH IT.

Things you think when you reach your breaking point

  • It’s all “their” fault.
  • They don’t care
  • People don’t like me
  • They are against me
  • I’m better off on my own
  • I want to run away
  • They don’t really love me

There is many, many more toxic thoughts that roll around in your head. I want to beg you, warn you, and shout from the rooftops about this subject. It’s been killing me inside to see so many marriages, relationships, and people hit that point and not return.

YOU MUST DEAL WITH YOUR PAST.

Sorry for the caps, but I want to stress it over and over. I’m still dealing with my past, and it STILL comes up about my ex and my 12 year relationship. Of course you’re in pain. Of course you’re sad, discouraged, and hurting. But, please, before it reaches the end game, get help. Contact a counselor, a friend, or find material to read, listen to, or watch that will help you deal with your build up of pain.

In my last article I talked about the “looper” personality and the empath. This personality tends to have a rougher time, because they get stuck in this endless painful loop.

Let me tell you a story.

There once was a girl, twenty-something, pretty, lively. She had a dream. A dream to be a mom and a wife and to live happily ever after. She married a nice guy, they settled down, and started their journey together.

Then 3 years ticked by, and the girl asked the boy for a baby. It was a no go. Again, years ticked by, and it was into year 5. The girl again, begged, pleaded, cried for a child, falling into depression. The boy said no. More and more years ticked by, and it reached year 10. The girl was in her thirties, in pain, believing her husband had tricked her, lied to her, and didn’t love her.

BOOM.

This was me. My breaking point hit at year 10, and mixed in with a lot of pain, I left my husband. The story is a mess after that, but you get the point. When you hit this point, all you see is through those pain-filled glasses, and everyone you love takes a beating. You tend to think they are out to “get you, abuse you, or hurt you” because you haven’t dealt with an underlining issue.

Did my husband love me? Maybe in his own way, but he never dealt with his issues about not wanting a kid, and it bled into our marriage–thus creating pain and a breaking point for me. I didn’t hear one single word he said after my breaking point.

Give yourself a Voice.

I’m still learning this one, since I repressed so much pain. I am still recovering the little girl who had a dream. I am part of an amazing leadership team(Life Leadership) that talks about dreaming, and all I can feel is a giant painful hole where mine used to be. Will I recover? Yes. Will you recover? Yes.

Don’t just see red

When you’re in this spot, you see everyone as a bad guy. Believe me I could tell you stories in my own life that would make your toes curl. People who always loved me, I looked at in a red haze of pain, and I couldn’t seem to find the love I knew was there. I only saw them one way. If this sounds like your life, please understand that people love you. Your family loves you. Your friends love you. They are HURTING because you are hurting. If someone reaches out to you, don’t bat their hand away, see through the haze. Allow someone in.

See the light

There is light for you. There is hope for you. If you are experiencing great pain like I did about marriage or family I have one warning: Don’t break your ties.

You may be going through hell right now, but reach out to someone. If you feel like you don’t trust anyone, there are programs to get emotional and mental health. Believe me, if you just decide to “end it all” you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. I’m talking  marriages, friendships, family ties, whatever the case is here.

One more thing

Some relationships ARE toxic. But, in the breaking point it’s hard to know better. If you need a break to think, then do so, but without killing all your relationships. My one regret was rushing my own divorce and not just letting myself heal for a bit. Would it of still ended? Maybe. But, the fact that my breaking point shoved me forward to destroy everything kills me now.

If you are in the middle of a divorce, pause for a moment. Take a breath. Is your partner willing to work it out? Is he/she willing to change? Is he/she trying his best? I know they hurt you. I understand. I really, really do. But, in the breaking point you hear NOTHING. You feel NOTHING. You think all they are doing is lying, lying, lying.

Don’t do anything rash. Give yourself a breather. Deal with your pain. Deal with it. Please. For your mental and emotional health. For your family, friends, and even acquaintances. The ripple effect of a breaking point is like a hurricane, destroying everything. You hurt a lot more people then you know. I’m not trying to guilt you. This is from a divorcee who knows. I know the pain you go through, and I am still dealing with it a year later.

I love you guys.

 

 

Rise Above Your Failures #youtube #inspire

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Books by Z.Z. Rae

Click any link below to check out books by Z.Z. Rae

Your Voice Your Choice: The Value of Every Woman

Ties of the Heart: How to recover from Divorce and Breakups

(A 12 step-by-step healing process)

Angel Guidance Series

Angel Guidance for Wealth (Abundant Living for Everyone)

Angel Guidance for Dreams (Your Dreams explained by the Angels)

Angel Guidance for Inner Healing (Heal your Heart, Soul, and Mind with the Angels)

Angel Guidance for Creativity (Unlock Your Gift)

Angel Guidance for Peace (Allow life’s burdens to fade)

Angel Guidance for Joy (Raise your Vibrations)

If you’d like to find out more about Z.Z. Rae and her works come and stop by for a visit!

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Angel-Guidance-for-Today-276651865705573/

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